【Taste of a Married Woman】

Welcome toFix It,Taste of a Married Woman our series examining projects we love — save for one tiny change we wish we could make.

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There’s no denying Mean Girls gave us some of the best comedic lines of the early 21st century. “I’m not like a regular mom; I’m a cool mom,” “It’s like I have ESPN or something,” “She doesn’t even go here!” — just to name a few.

But for years, one of the film’s most iconic jokes has irked me. Not because it hasn’t aged well (though, it should be said, this 2004 release has its fair share of those), but because it didn’t make sense in Mean Girls’ heyday and still doesn’t.

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“Butter is 100% fat, and absolutely not a carbohydrate,” confirms the extremely patient Dr. Pramod Khosla.

“Is butter a carb?” earnestly asks Regina George, in a sing-songy tone Rachel McAdams totally nails.

“Yes,” replies a dumb-founded Cady, played by Lindsay Lohan, with a look of pity-filled bewilderment generally reserved for Regina’s less intellectual minions.

Ostensibly, the joke here is that Regina is stupid for not knowing that butter is, in fact, a carb. At least, that’s what Lohan’s delivery, and some other moments demonstrating Regina’s total lack of nutritional knowledge, imply. The single syllable affirmative is drawn out, with extra emphasis on the “s” conveying a profound sense of second-hand embarrassment: “Is butter a carb?” Oh god. “Yes.”

But, of course: “Butter is 100% fat, and absolutely not a carbohydrate,” confirms the extremely patient Pramod Khosla, a professor of nutrition and food science at Wayne State University, via phone. (Full disclosure: Pramod, who has a PhD in biochemistry, is the father of Mashable entertainment reporter Proma Khosla.)

“Yes, there’s a chemical difference,” Khosla explains of carbs versus fats, two of three macronutrient categories our bodies need; the third being proteins. “But there’s also a difference inside the body with how they’re metabolized. They both do provide energy, but fat provides a lot more energy than carbohydrates.”

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Per the United States Department of Agriculture (U.S.D.A.) website, Khosla’s #1 recommendation for reliable nutritional information, 100 grams of clarified butteris comprised of 100 grams fat, 0 grams carbohydrates, 0 grams protein. Meaning, it’s as not-a-carb as any not-a-carb food item can be — a top-tier source for fats and fats alone. Even if it was your average salted dinner table butter, which has more carbs than clarified butter also per the U.S.D.A., butter is overwhelmingly made of fat. Not carbs. But fat. Butter is, I repeat, not a carb. But a fat.

So, how could Mark Twain Prize for American Humor winner Tina Fey have made this egregious of a mistake? Well, she probably didn't. At least, not without some reasoning behind her decision.

You can rationalize this joke — as I’m sure many fans did, and Fey may have — as being part of Mean Girl’s infamous ruin Regina’s “‘Hot’ Body’” plotline. Asked to interpret only the clip, Khosla, who hasn’t seen the rest of the film, even offers: “It seems to me that the reason they said butter is a carb might've been to make that particular young lady look whichever way they wanted her to look. Maybe just to set her up?”

SEE ALSO: 'The Good Place' got sloppy for a sports joke that made no sense

Lohan’s delivery, however, doesn’t make that entirely clear. “It’s not that she’s told that butter is a carb from any definitive thing,” Khosla adds. “It was more of a ‘duh’ [like that was true]. That was my interpretation anyway.”

It's a fat....duh! Credit: paramount pictures/CBS via Getty Images

The tiniest tweak would make this joke make more sense, scientifically speaking. Either have Cady say no in the same “duh” tone, or have her say yes in a way that makes her advanced-level scheming more clear. Although I’ll admit: Neither of those options sound particularly humorous. In fact, the latter sounds a little dark.

Discovering you’ve misunderstood a basic fact well into adulthood is a near-universal experience we’re all trying to avoid.

As it’s written, Mean Girls’ “Is butter a carb?” joke is undeniably funny. But it’s objectively wrong and inadvertently adds an unusual quirk to Cady’s character. When you overthink it, as I have for years, this scene implies North Shore’s championship-winning mathlete missed a pretty key part of health class and actually thinks butter is a carbohydrate. It’s a weird inconsistency that has given me pause when it comes to my own understanding of butter's nutritional value. Perhaps that’s why Regina’s line is the only one from this scene ever quoted. If Cady’s response really worked as part of the joke, we might toss in a “yes” with our Mean Girls recitations from time to time. But we don’t, and the glaring error goes undiscussed.

Irregardless, I’m guessing I’m not alone in quietly grappling with this perplexing fragment of a beloved movie. It's understandable. Discovering you’ve misunderstood a basic fact well into adulthood is a near-universal experience we’re all trying to avoid. My most glaring instance of this was thinking glass was an element well into my college years. For a friend, whose anonymity I’ve agreed to protect, it was mistakenly believing you could “only milk the white cows” up until — well, last week.

So, let me just say, if you’ve ever questioned whether you’re “missing something” in this memorable Mean Girlsscene: No, you are not. Butter is fat, not carbs, and Cady’s response here is kind of inexplicable. I have actually checked with a real, bonafide nutrition scientist to be sure.

“Maybe a more tricky question, next time?” Khosla laughs. “There's lots of resources for more reliable, interesting information you could use, as opposed to, you know, looking at a Mean Girlsclip." There's a pause. "For nutritional information."

Honestly, fair.

Mean Girls is now streaming on Paramount+.