Hey! I'm your Facebook friend from back home or Well-Endowed Customer and Young Female Escortsomething. You don't remember how you know me, but you always see me in your feed and, judging by my posts, I am completely unburdened by the world's problems.
My life is just great. You wish you had it this good.
SEE ALSO: I got so worked up over the new Twitter design that it has cost me everythingWhy am I like this? So happy-go-lucky? So constantly on Facebook? The simple fact is I am blissfully ignorant of any suffering in the world. My world exists within a one mile radius and that's the way I like it. I heard through the grapevine that Donald Trump did something vaguely bad, but I have no idea what it was because I don't watch the news or give a shit at all.
Hey, check out this cute video of a cat. You have already seen it. It went super viral nine months ago but I am only just now seeing it somehow.
My life rules, dude. I have a spouse that I met when I was 19, and we have loving children. I have a family. I'm 27 years old. Did you even know that was possible?
I gotta start watching some of these shows everyone's talking about. Breaking Bad, and what's the other one? Hangover? I literally am so far removed from pop culture that I have never seen an episode of Breaking Bad. My job is amazing and I love my fucking life.
The other day I showed my friend the Chewbacca Mom video and we both laughed so hard. We loved it. Remember that? When was that popular, like two years ago? I just saw it for the first time yesterday. Can you even begin to fathom how that is possible?
I can’t get enough of those Tasty vids, either. I share each one. Man, does that food look good!
Another thing about me is that I love videos where contestants on the television show The Voiceor whatever are good singers. It shocks me every time. I always share those videos and then tag my spouse in them instead of just texting them or showing them in person. Who cares? You? Why?
Can I show you something I really love?
Haha! Isn’t that terrific? I don’t give a shit about anything.
You can scour my Facebook page all you want to see where my beliefs lie politically but you won’t find anything. What you will find though, is that recently my cell phone broke so if you needed to reach me, you’d have to do it through Facebook. How wild is that? Everybody I ever thought would need to contact me is right here on Facebook. Damn dude. My life is so great.
I just uploaded a picture of me just standing in front of my car wearing a coat. That's all there is to it. Do you think I put any thought into it at all? Not a chance. I already forgot I posted it.
Hey while I have you here, I just wanted to tell you that I took a quiz online and got sorted into Gryffindor.
Welp, have a good one.
Thanks for reading Mashable Humor: original comedy every day. Or most days. We're people, just like you, and we're trying our best.
Topics Facebook
Best Apple deal: Save $60 on the Apple Watch SE
Tesla's Solar Roof tiles now available for pre
This phone has a big red button for emergencies
Magic Leap CEO tweets out a call to developers for secret program
Draper vs. Arnaldi 2025 livestream: Watch Madrid Open for free
United flight evacuated because of a scorpion
Newlywed couple ditches traditional first dance for an epic light saber battle
Snapchat sold about $8 million worth of Spectacles (not that it helped much)
Anker raises Amazon prices amid US tariffs
Ridiculously adorable skateboarding pup crashes into the BBC
WhatsApp launches 'Advanced Chat Privacy' to protect sensitive conversations
Newlywed couple ditches traditional first dance for an epic light saber battle
The laptop ban could expand to flights coming from Europe
Apple just gave away all the iPhone camera’s secrets
NYT Connections Sports Edition hints and answers for April 17: Tips to solve Connections #206
'The Sims' like the one you remember is coming to iPhones and Androids
The iPhone was the world's bestselling smartphone in Q1 2017
Stop worrying, everyone: Trump's picks for FBI director are excellent
Patched Desktop PC: Meltdown & Spectre Benchmarked
Homeowner sues Zillow for allegedly undervaluing her home
Special toilet paper is how one fashion blogger handled all her potty6 persistent phone charging myths, debunkedTheresa May tells Vogue why 'gentleman' Donald Trump held her handHere are the top 10 dog breeds of 2016A puppeteer's personal story about bringing Sesame Street's first autistic Muppet to lifeGorgeous video takes you on a trip above MarsPrivleged babies can now indulge themselves at their very own day spaBeing cheeky is infectious for these parrotsThe iPhone is finally going (RED)UK bans laptops and big smartphones on airlines from 6 countriesYouTube apologizes for hidden LGBTQ videosMan who pleaded guilty to terrorism charges tried to hide data in a cufflinkUK bans laptops and big smartphones on airlines from 6 countriesTeen who narrowly avoided being eaten by a crocodile did it all for loveDisney experiment lets you catch real objects while in VRMariah Carey's holiday gift to us will be an 'All I Want for Christmas Is You' movieApple finally realizes 16GB of storage on the iPhone SE isn't enough for anythingThis hidden Twitter setting will free up iPhone storage spaceTurtle which needed surgery to remove a bellyful of coins has diedDrake wasn't about to let Ed Sheeran hold onto his new Spotify records Carbon Omissions The Listening Con No Re-Turning Point, U.S.A. Memory Keepers The Year History Died Louie and Roy Spielberg’s Children The Precocious Socialist What the Bolsheviks Saw State of the Unions Belladonna A Show Trial that No One Watched Cradle to Grave The Carpetbaggers of Tech On Enmity Faster, Higher, Stronger, More Harmonious The Afterlife of <em>Newsies</em> Temporary Autonomous Taco Zones You’re a Monster, Mr. Trump Peasants of Code
2.4256s , 10132.7578125 kb
Copyright © 2025 Powered by 【Well-Endowed Customer and Young Female Escort】,Charm Information Network