Justin Bieber has figured out that awards shows aren't his thing,Beverly Lynne - Bikini Royale 2 (2010) and that's a great thing to know about yourself if you happen to be a celebrity who is frequently asked to attend awards shows.
In an Instagram caption, he opened up about why they end up leaving him "hollow" and don't provide the sort of fulfillment he's looking for.
SEE ALSO: I want to Beliebe: The jagged redemption of Justin BieberJust last night, Bieber performed "Company" and "Sorry" at the Billboard Music Awards. Viewers criticized Bieber's performance for lack of energy and accused Bieber of lip-syncing.
Bieber kept his acceptance speech simple when he took home the award for Top Male Artist.
"I'm not really a talker, but I'll say thank you to my family," he said. "I want to thank God. I want to thank everyone that believed in me and believes in me."
Bieber also won the Top Social Media Artist prize.
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On Instagram, he got into why these events don't inspire him.
"But I don't feel good when I'm there nor after. I try to think of it as a celebration but can't help feeling like people are rating and grading my performance," he wrote. "A lot of people in the audience there to be seem worried about how much camera time they will get or who they can network with."
Instead, he craves validation that deep down, he's a good dude doing his best in a crazy world.
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He acknowledges that's an uphill battle for anyone, especially a pop star of his fame, to be seen for who they really are, "I know it would probably be hard to calculate and award someone's spirit lol."
He also tries to make it clear his goal isn't to call out the people behind the awards shows or imply that none of the attendees have their hearts in the right place. It's just not an environment that gives him fulfillment. Also, his grammar is not the point here, "Sorry not sorry about grammar it's not my strong point."
Concerts -- where fans show up for the love of music -- are a different thing entirely to him, so don't worry, Beliebers.
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Bieber has been making a point to take control of his life and what he can give to the public lately. He recently posted an Instagram explaining why he isn't comfortable stopping for photos anymore.
After the post received backlash from some fans, Bieber Instagrammed a defense of his choice, "If you think setting boundaries is being a douche, I'm the biggest douche around, but I think it's smart and will be the only way I last."
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Bieber may seem bratty and ungrateful (and sometimes isbratty and ungrateful -- as 22-year-old men are known to be), but he's grown up living a surreal existence where people have unprecedented access to the lives of celebrities. It's important for him to take a critical look at his life and focus on his mental health.
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