This has,Watch Asian HD Movies Full Movie Online Free categorically, been the summer of Love Island. Despite being an annual fixture since 2015, this year’s Love Islandhas utterly steamrolled popular culture: it has become mainstream popular culture.
2018 was the year that the broadsheets couldn’t ignore it: MacBook anthropologists mused about attachment theory and heteronormative personality tropes and generation-Insta – before finishing with something like, ‘or maybe we just like watching semi-naked hotties getting it on!’
Because the only thing we love more than watching Love Islandis talking about why it is that we love watching Love Island.
We should be asking why now. The format hasn’t changed; we have. And it’s because of #MeToo.
SEE ALSO: This reality dating show is so popular a guy redecorated his house to celebrate itIn the wake of the #MeToo movement, men all over the world asked the same question: What ARE we allowed to do? It's easy to say that if you're worried your flirting is harassment, you're doing it wrong. But the fact is, plenty of normal guys began to feel anxious about the 'right way' to talk to women.
We went back to basics: what’s permitted? How do I show interest? How do I flirt? How do I initiate physical intimacy?
And lots of women began to reappraise their own sexual histories, working out how they felt about various experiences. #MeToo gave women permission to give voice to the niggling, low-level hum of "that didn't feel quite right" that had followed them around for years.
In our gut reactions to Love Island's male characters, we recognised our own slimy experiences.
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The show came at just the right time to help us work this stuff out. For the summer months, we were given a framework for talking about high-stakes issues in a fairly low-stakes context.
Love Islandlaid out a few basic lessons: sharing a bed with someone is not consent. Having your boobs and bum out in a tiny bikini all day is not consent. Snogging someone doesn't mean you want to sleep with them. Saying 'I love you' doesn't mean you want to sleep with them.
This wisdom is carried through to kissing: The islanders seek permission, or announce their intention, or ask the object of their affections to kiss them.
Ettie Bailey-King of The Schools Consent Project -- a charity which educates young people on the law and issues surrounding consent and sexual assault -- is encouraged by this.
“It's a good example of how you can actually ask for explicit consent. It may help dispel myths about it being 'awkward' or 'difficult'," she says.
But it wasn’t just these Consent 101 lessons that Love Islandnailed. It, perhaps unwittingly, got into the nitty gritty of reciprocity, entitlement and gendered politeness dynamics, finding itself an exemplar for that very millennial preoccupation: The Nice Guy.
One of the show’s most divisive figures was Dr Alex, a sunburned fish-out-of-water posh-boy, who was a walking masterclass in that other great lesson that #MeToo and its backlash has teased out: being ‘nice’ to a girl doesn’t entitle you to their affection.
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Incel forums have talked about Alex a lot:his repeated failure to attract a mate was proof of how corrupt women had become. He's 6.3! He's a doctor! He's soooooo nice! He likes ‘natural looking’ women! What a bloke. And these FEMALES fancied the naughty boys, the ones with good chat who would break their hearts. It was assumed that someone as deeply socially awkward as Dr Alex would be incapable of heart-breaking.
When Ellie entered the villa with her eye on the doctor, he was ‘ready to treat her like a princess’. He chose to couple up with her and showed her the minimum basic that human decency required. But he couldn’t cash his nice-guy cheque for sex, because despite her best efforts (and, my god, that girl tried) she wasn’t feeling the chemistry.
Alex was livid. The bumbling Richard Curtis character mask slipped, and we saw the fluorescent doctor incandescent with rage that ‘rude’ Ellie didn’t want him. So ungrateful.
Eyalwas another hard-done-by good-guy – a floppy haired spiritual type who talked a lot about being ‘deep’. Like the viewing public, his partner Hayley had no time for it – which infuriated Eyal. She told him he was boring. She was probably right.
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Elsewhere, Eyal could be found complaining about the shameless harpy who’d had the gall to break up with him a mere two weeks after he took her to Paris. He spent time and money on the trip, and believed he was entitled to this woman as compensation.
Eyal doesn’t appear to understand that a woman can end a relationship whenever she wants to, regardless of whatever transaction he imagines they have agreed upon.
Then, we watched the ridiculously good-looking Adam work his way through women like a bag of Doritos. At one point, he was coupled up with Rosie, who had (perhaps unwisely) fallen pretty hard for him.
A new girl, Zara, entered the villa who was (to use LI parlance) 100% his type on paper. In what would become a much meme-ified statement, he told the diary room camera that he'd be lying if he said he wasn't attracted to her; he euphemistically said he’d be open to ‘getting to know’ her. Meanwhile, he impatiently told Rosie not to worry, that he didn’t need to reassure her.
After a date, he told other people in the villa that he liked Zara more than Rosie, “Put it this way – I won’t be kissing her in bed tonight”. In his mind, he was finished with her. And Rosie could see it. But when confronted, Adam point blank refused to admit that he his behaviour towards his erstwhile lover had changed.
“I’ve been exactly myself today,” he smirked at an increasingly frustrated Rosie. Eventually he said, “'Yeah, I probably do fancy Zara. Didn't mean anything before you acted like a child.” The nation was aghast at his cruelty, at blaming Rosie for his behaviour, at making her question her perception of reality.
The chief executive of Women’s Aid made a statement at the time, pointing out the ‘clear warning signs’ in Adam’s ‘unacceptable’ behaviour, and how it could indicate a pattern of psychological abuse and gas-lighting.
"That’s the point about emotional abuse. It’s invisible. And the point of reality TV is to make all kinds of things visible that were once invisible."
Professor Helen Wood, head of the Media and Communication department at the University of Leicester, sees this sort of dialogue as a victory of sorts.
“That behaviour would be a practice that Adam was very used to and lots of young men his age are very used to and never would have thought before that it was a part of emotional abuse – ever," she says.
"But that’s the point about emotional abuse. It’s invisible; That’s how it works. It shouldn’t be something that is opened up to scrutiny, because that takes away its power. And the point of reality TV is to make all kinds of things visible that were once invisible," Wood adds.
"That’s worthwhile in itself, in maybe someone watching and thinking ‘is that what I’ve done? or ‘is that what I’ve been a victim of?’.”
While it would be unfair to assert that Adam was an abuser, his behaviour was littered with red flags.
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The conversation about signs of emotional abuse that played out on social media wasn't one that actually fully came to fruition on the show itself.
“How long can Adam get away with this for?” asked exasperated contestant Dani Dyer. The answer: for as long as he likes.
Adam’s earning potential remains undimmed; he’s currently touring the British Isles doing paid nightclub appearances. He and Zara are regulars in fawning celebrity magazines.
If Love Islandstarted a conversation about psychological abuse, then perhaps Adam’s trajectory has finished it: charming, gorgeous bad 'uns can get away with a lot. Even the universally trusted and adored ‘good guy’ Jack Fincham adored Adam and thought he was ‘a god’.
In the last week of the show, lovely Alexandra woke up one morning to debrief the girls on the night before. She had taken an improbable liking to Dr Alex and been coupled up with him for a little while, happily sharing kisses in bed. She said that Alex had taken her hand and guided it down his boxers. She batted him away. They all had a giggle about it -- because what sexually active straight young woman hasn’t been there? We laugh it off, because that’s what we’ve been taught to do. The boy’s high-fived each other, as if a girl swiping your penis away is a cause for celebration. Second base! Nice, bro!
"'Teachable moments' might be happening. But I haven't seen them."
There is no suggestion that Alex committed a crime, but the description of what happened was unsettling. Ettie Bailey-King at The Schools Consent Project (and a fairly sizable section of Twitter) was exasperated by the ambiguous editing in which consent was not clear-cut – and no one on the show tried to resolve it. In her experience, events like this can do more harm than good for teens watching.
“Maybe there are some young people who are having really great conversations about this and learning – but I’m not sure. We mostly see young people who are struggling to learn their way around really subjective skills like listening and reading people’s body language – and it’s really hard for them. Then they’re watching this show where it’s all just ‘banter’ and no one is accountable for their bad behaviour. ‘Teachable moments’ might be happening - but I haven’t seen them!” Bailey-King says.
While they joke about knowing that TV isn’t real, Bailey-King finds that young people often internalise what they watch and repeat it back. “It’s super aspirational," she says. "Despite how un-diverse it is, it’s exactly the kind of thing they heavily identify with. And it never adds any moral commentary.”
And that’s probably what it comes down to. For every reality TV tourist delighted at the novelty of Love Island, the fascinating little experiment, there is someone watching who takes it at face value. As well they might – it’s entertainment, not an avant-garde installation at the Tate.
As Professor Wood said, while "the Love Island effect" may have surprised some of us, it is first and foremost television, “They know their demographic – this is from the home of TOWIE.”
Starting conversations is all well and good – but only for the people who partake in them. Some of us have found in Love Islandthe perfect petri dish to grow our ideas about equality, consent and healthy relationships. We see in it a post-MeToo society reflected back at us to pick apart and moralise.
And the rest of us? Maybe we just like watching semi-naked hotties getting it on.
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